X and I were talking about our “wedding” plans and I mentioned that my parents said he had to say the Shahada at some point and then this happened:
me: but obviously i’m no practicing muslim
x: hahahaha
x: ok i get it, I also bookmarked the pronunciation from the wikipedia page so I can practice.
x: you are worth me becoming muslim
WHAAAT? So sweet! So, so sweet. Endless sighing. (:
Some of you are likely aware that today is Everybody Draw Muhammad Day. As many of you are also aware, I’m a humanist who believes in free speech above all else.
That said, I’m absolutely torn on this. What I want is for people to understand just how important free speech is. What I don’t want is to be lumped in with the War Hawks who just are in this game to provoke Muslims.
For the most part, I think people are in this as a demonstration of free speech and not as some jingoistic pissing contest. I would feel the same way if this had been the Jews freaking out about a portrait of Abraham or Christians ranting about a drawing of Jesus.
I don’t begrudge people their beliefs, but I think that if a stick figure can turn your entire belief system to shit, maybe it’s time to rethink things.
I agree. Some people have turned faith into something that makes them angry and unhappy about everything. If God is great and if he is every loving and all that jazz, then why be so upset over a drawing?
Now of course, there is a difference between what South Park did and what Lars Vilks did at that University. South Park’s intention was not to make people upset obviously if you have ever seen an episode there’s nobody they don’t make fun of but Lars Vilk’s intention with his presentation was to piss people off. Lars Vilks is a total jackass in my opinion for intentionally trying to cause trouble and wanting to offend people.
The honest truth is if the Prophet Muhammad saw a drawing depicting him, what would he have done? I highly, highly doubt that he would’ve been upset at all. If you read his life story, so many people cursed at him, his own family members hurt him, people threw things at him and situations way worse than somebody drawing him. He did nothing but show kindness to those who hurt him so these people hurting others or being so upset at a drawing or that lady who got in trouble somewhere in Africa because she told her student she could name his Teddy Bear Muhammad, all of these people really need to calm down.
But a drawing Muhammad day, I don’t get what that accomplishes. Seriously though, it’s 2010 can’t we all just get along?
If you make this into a big deal, then it is a big deal. I agree that the Prophet probably wouldn’t get too bent out of shape about it. There are bigger things to worry about than this. And if you are genuinely upset about this happening, instead of boycotting or whatever it is that people are doing you should probably try to spread the word and explain why depicting the Prophet is looked down upon in Islam. Irrational reactions are what provoke people to keep going with this kind of behaviour.
Where have you been all my life?
I can relate 100% to everything you’ve said.
I’m Pakistan/Indian Muslim, and my parents are the same way. What’s even worse are their double standards, MY BROTHER COULD DO ANYTHING AND GET AWAY WITH IT!
btw, I don’t see any flaws in Islam, only how people interpret it. My parents just happen to be very old-fashioned and conservative, more particularly, my father. He still loves, cares, and supports me, but is just a bit too overprotective of me at times, but I can’t entirely blame him I guess, I mean lets consider the circumstances a) he’s an immigrant b) I’m a girl c) Our religion d) our culture and how it associates girls e) the world is a dangerous place.
I’ve been right here, minding my own business for the most part. There are a lot of people like us, you know. You just have to look in the right places. I never met a Pakistani/Muslim with even the same musical taste as me until around 2001 or 2002 and it blew my mind when I met her (through makeoutclub.com). Ever since then, the circle has been growing and growing. We all know each other somehow and I keep getting introduced to more like-minded people every day. Then this whole taqwacore thing happened, and so many more people came out of the woodwork, but I’m sure you must know about it. (If not, you can start here.)
As for double standards, yeah, I dealt with that too. My brother is 8 years older and more rebellious than I ever was, but I still got a lot of shit thrown my way for just speaking my mind when I would get frustrated. It was hard to deal with, so many things were when I lived at home, and I’m glad I’m far from that situation now. Just…be patient I guess. We can’t always make our parents happy and I finally realized that. It’s one thing to “obey” and it’s something else to make your life miserable, which is what I was. Tell me this, do you get the “community” thrown in your face? All those un-related aunties and uncles that are waiting, salivating at the chance of a royal fuck up?
I don’t have a problem with Islam so much, I just feel like people twist it to their personal belief systems on how things should be and ruin its beauty. But isn’t that with most religions?
My parents were supportive of me. I wasn’t pushed to be a doctor or lawyer, neither was my brother, but they were also dragging me down. I’m not going to get into it now but a lot of what they would say to me would be contradicted by their actions.
Being first generation in this country is tough, we all know it. It’s up to us to find our way and try to get our parents to understand that they brought us here for a better life, but how much better is it going to get if we’re stifled? It’s totally understandable that the culture is different and that they’re scared but where does this over protection stop? For me, in my mid-late twenties there was no progress, in fact, things regressed for quite some time.
This is what I tell my mom…all the time. The world is dangerous no matter what country you’re in. Girls have restraints put on them no matter what culture. Does that mean we have to sit at home in fear all the time? What kind of life would that be? How do you learn about life if you’re sheltered all the time?
But yes. I’m here now. Feel free to drop a line whenever you’d like, love.
I can’t imagine what it would have been like to be a normal American kid. I didn’t get to do sleep-overs like all the other little girls. I didn’t hang out at the mall for recreational purposes until I was say, 17, I think? Not that I wanted to do that or anything. I used to find the mall boring and a waste of time and was generally not a fan of shopping, but I would have liked the option! I had crushes on nearly everyone growing up, but wouldn’t have been able to act on it. When a boy would call my house about homework I would get in trouble. Homework!
I can’t say that I wonder what it would be like, though. I don’t see any real benefit in sleeping in someone else’s house. I like sleeping in my own bed at the end of the day and sharing one with a bunch of squealing little girls or squeezing into sleeping bags in a living room doesn’t sound like much fun to me. But then I could just be rationalizing all of this to make the little girl inside me feel better.
Would I let my little girl do all the things I missed out on as a child? I don’t really know. The way I see kids acting these days I’d probably think twenty times before letting my kid out of my house. I don’t even know if I want a child. Well, I do, but I’m terrified of taking care of another little human being (I’ve never changed a poopie diaper!) and I don’t want them to grow up in a world that is worse than it is now.
Anyway, the reason of me even bringing this up is that when I would ask my parents if I could go to little Jenny’s house for her birthday slumber party, I would get “no” as an answer right away. Why? Because I’m a Muslim girl. What does that have to do with anything? I still don’t understand. It’s not like there were boys around. Nobody was Na Mehram. Yet, I was still told no. If I wanted to go with a group of girls to the movies and make sure to come home before 10pm… “No. You’re a Muslim girl, you have to respect yourself.” What’s so disrespectful about being with a bunch of decent straight A students at a movie theatre? Beats me.
Most of the things I was told “no” for, it really didn’t matter if I was Muslim or not. When I got older and had a little more courage to point that out, I was told that girls don’t do those kinds of things. Oh what, really? Then what have my friends been doing this whole time? Oh, no, their parents just don’t know how to take care of them properly which is why they get to do all those things. Of course, that makes sense. Negligence. Or, they’re American and Americans don’t have morals (I’m lacking a better way to word this). But I’m American, I was born in this country, shouldn’t I be privy to a more lax lifestyle?
I understand that by being a first generation Pakistani-Muslim in America, things are harder, that my parents were more cautious, and I sincerely respect that. What I don’t understand is why my being a Muslim girl was used as the excuse to keep me from doing what I wanted. Why couldn’t I just be told, “You can’t go because we don’t know Jenny’s family,” or “You can’t go because it will be dark when you get out and we fear for your safety.” Why was I always left with the burden of being a girl born into Islam?
What I think my parents didn’t realize is that they were making me resent what I was born into and what I should have been proud of. The constant use of my religion and my sex as a deterrent for fun activities was not a good tactic. Do other Muslim parents use this tactic on their little girls? Do they realize the negative associations they’re building in those developing minds? I deserved more respect than that. I couldn’t help what I was born into. I should have gotten better request denials than stating the fact that I am a Muslim girl and that is the sole reason why I can’t do anything.
So, if I had a child, a little girl, would I tell her that she can’t go to all those super fun slumber parties? Maybe, but I wouldn’t place her sex or her religion on her head as the excuse.
I don’t know where to begin. I suppose this will be more of a stream of consciousness type of thing until I get the hang of it.
I got inspired to do this after reading a ‘zine some friends of mine put together after The Taqwacores screening at Sundance this year. I wanted to contribute, even though I wasn’t there (not just for that, but for most of this whole Taqwacore hullabaloo), but didn’t really know what I should do. I wanted to add to the growing number of female voices, but was stumped. Then I got this thing in the mail and felt a rush of inspiration. But, it was something more than what I could tidily sum up in a few paragraphs.
This is going to be about me getting a grasp of who I am and where I come from. I don’t usually reflect on my past or my future, but I feel that I’m at a place now where I can do something like that objectively, without justifications.
So, here we go.
I am a 27 year old Muslim female born and brought up in America, in a red state. My parents were both born in India. My mother was raised between Calcutta and Kashmir and my father’s family remained in East Pakistan (now Bangladesh) until war broke out, then they migrated to West Pakistan (Pakistan, now.) Our ancestors are from Iran so our family doesn’t even look Southeast Asian, but that Desi culture is what my parents identify with and subsequently, me…to a point.
This country is all I have known aside from the handful of 3 month long vacations my family and I would take to India and Pakistan when I was younger. With that kind of experience, I love what I jokingly call the “mother land”, but I probably only know a caricature of what amazing culture and color those countries really hold. If I didn’t have family there, who knows if I would even want to go back. I don’t know Urdu, Hindi, Farsi or Arabic. I have never read the Quran all the way through, even when I attended Islamic Sunday school (which was a total joke to me even as a 6th grader), and stopped praying… Well, let’s just say I don’t even remember the last time I knelt in the direction of the Kabah. I live with my boyfriend that doesn’t even believe in religion and I just recently got the taste for bacon after eating a particularly delicious sandwich, although I do feel a tinge of guilt just by smelling it. I guess I shouldn’t even call myself Muslim in any sense of the word, really, but this is the way it is for now. I’ll touch on that subject in the future.
I’m not sure exactly how detailed I want to get with this. I’m sure if anyone in my family found this I would get a verbal lashing from them just for that last paragraph, but ultimately this is for me. I will try my best not to name names, or change them when I feel it’s necessary. I want to be honest, but I don’t want to drag others into this unknowingly or unwillingly. I won’t even name myself here for now and will try to remain that way for as long as possible.
One step at a time, right?
