February 2012
1 post
Long time...
——Note: I originally wrote this for my livejournal, so this has been heavily modified.——
Hi again.
Let’s try to catch up. I’ve moved from Texas, to Florida, to New York, to Texas in five years. I’m much happier. MUCH happier. I always thought New York was going to be the answer to everything. I’d make more money and pay down debt (which I...
August 2011
1 post
hilariousduff asked: I'm so glad you're getting married and that you have a stable job that you're happy and can eat! This is all good news :)
July 2011
1 post
The run-on list of life
I’m going to get married within a couple of weeks. I’m oddly nonchalant about this but I should be scrambling about getting something to wear and at least find someone to do my henna so it can feel somewhat normal.
My parents are getting pushy about it and saying how my spending time with X is a “burden” on them.
Really?
I’ve been with the guy for almost 5 years...
June 2011
3 posts
I want it.
I love (read: hate) how the desi solution to irresponsible males is marriage. Really? You want to subject some poor woman to a life of caring for an ungrateful, tall and hairy baby?
Fuck that.
Let those dudes fend for themselves. Or keep sucking on their mother’s tits because that shit is not right.
1 tag
In the past
I had a relationship with this psychopathic boy (literally, he had problems) that didn’t last for very long but will probably be one time in my life that I truly regret that it happened for many reasons because of the things that I did/didn’t do while we were together.
We eventually stopped talking and I pushed him out of my memory. I still have pictures with him but I don’t...
April 2011
5 posts
Doubting the legitimacy of certain friendships. Just because I can’t come and hang out all the time doesn’t mean I don’t care and should be pushed aside. Sometimes I feel that by the time I get my life together enough to enjoy it, my “friends” won’t be around to enjoy it with me.
5 tags
I’m gaining weight. Well, I’m not actually gaining anything since every time I’ve weighed myself I seem to be maintaining the same weight give or take half a pound. I notice it when I see myself in the mirror. When I first got here my hip bones would slightly peek out, my wrists were a little more delicate, my fingers were slimmer, my jawline and cheekbones more prominent and now...
3 tags
2 tags
Too much!
Listen.
If there is anyone upset that they found out about my move or marriage through here or a mutual friend instead of from me, don’t be. I’m not saying that there is, I don’t know, but I’m sure I’d be a little upset if a person I considered a close friend didn’t keep me in the loop about something like this.
I haven’t told anyone outside of my...
4 tags
You are worth it
X and I were talking about our “wedding” plans and I mentioned that my parents said he had to say the Shahada at some point and then this happened:
me: but obviously i’m no practicing muslim x: hahahaha x: ok i get it, I also bookmarked the pronunciation from the wikipedia page so I can practice. x: you are worth me becoming muslim
WHAAAT? So sweet! So, so sweet. Endless...
March 2011
1 post
7 tags
Long overdue life update!
It’s been a while so I’m just going to go ahead and say what’s been going on in my life. These events are so huge to me that there’s really no time to dilly dally with introductions and what have you. So…
1. My grandmother passed away a few weeks ago. It was inevitable and sudden all at the same time. She was 91, healthy and lucid and then she wasn’t. Someone...
January 2011
9 posts
Anonymous asked: Re: Future Perfect.
For true, 'tis the X. Sometimes I get down too — with no food, no sleep, the mind can wander and that's when I fall into a fixated thought pattern. Whenever I do, I always remember that last year we didn't even have phones! A single pay-as-you-go for both of us and it was basically the same deal as the metro pass: Do we spend $16 to have an...
For true, 'tis the X. Sometimes I get down too — with no food, no sleep, the mind can wander and that's when I fall into a fixated thought pattern. Whenever I do, I always remember that last year we didn't even have phones! A single pay-as-you-go for both of us and it was basically the same deal as the metro pass: Do we spend $16 to have an...
5 tags
Future Perfect
I feel ill like I’m going to throw up. Maybe it’s the emotions or the fact that I haven’t been eating properly lately. Definitely not PMS because it’s not time for that yet.
I am starting to get nervous. I don’t like having only a few dollars to my name. We need to pay rent, latest by the 8th, and cover bills and I have to start paying my student loan again in April...
westindiannaga asked: Whats your twitter name? mine is @PadyCakes :)
Ask me things! →
2 tags
patisseriepoupon-deactivated201 asked: "Also: let’s not get it twisted. This goes both ways. A lot of brown guys, at least in my family, hold white girls as trophies. Especially if they’re blonde and blue eyed. They fool around with them and then settle with a brown girl that can make a mean daal-chawal when they’re ready to start a family (which is another fucked up situation)."
THIS...
THIS...
5 tags
Exoticism
A few days ago I was skimming through a friend’s twitter feed and saw a bit of her conversation with some other people about how she doesn’t date white men any more because of how she was “exoticised” by them. I don’t remember if those words were hers specifically or another person in the conversation (definitely not verbatim), but that is besides the point…
...
westindiannaga asked: Thanks for the follow. Your entries are quite interesting. Is it all true?
December 2010
3 posts
3 tags
Here’s an update on the ex-friend that I sent that letter to.
X and I requested that he leave on Friday last week, before Saturday morning. If he didn’t take his stuff, X said he would move it all out to the hall outside of our apartment and change the locks.
That seems pretty harsh, but I think he would have taken it easy and not moved before the end of the year had we not gotten on...
This blog
It’s turning into more of a place for me to vent than to tell stories about my past since very, very few people that know me know about it. If I didn’t think others could relate or didn’t like getting feedback, I’d probably keep it private, but it’s here.
I’ve decided I’m keeping this as anonymous as possible. I think it would be better to remain faceless...
6 tags
Goodbye
A letter to my roommate, who was my “friend” for nearly 10 years. After months of staying with my boyfriend and I with no intentions of improving his situation, he and my boyfriend got into a heated argument. Needless to say, he needs to leave. This is what I’m giving him.
So, it’s taken me a while to get to this, but I think it’s time. Things got a bit tumultuous...
October 2010
3 posts
Sometimes I want to gouge my eyes out. This isn’t help, this is slowing me down.
3 tags
This whole forcing myself to be more creative thing isn’t really working out as I had planned. I don’t know what I should do to motivat myself to work. I just never feel like doing anything.
Life is good, so why am I so lazy to get up and do something?
This is my livelyhood. Why am I not focusing? Is it because it’s client related? It’s not bad work and right now...
September 2010
4 posts
2 tags
Experiences like losing your virginity and the drama that will surely follow, especially if you’re a girl, is enough to fuck anyone up. As a guy, I was deathly afraid of sex and kissing; I thought I had to be perfect about it and decided to just mind my own business until I realized I was 19 and it seemed everyone around me had already lost theirs. All I knew about sex was limited to what I...
11 tags
So you lost your virginity, huh?
There’s no way to go around it. I’ve been thinking about it a lot (not perverted thoughts about people losing their virginity but how people, particularly people that grew up in similar situations as me, have done it or if they have at all.) So, I’d like to explore the subject.
How did it happen? Was it a conscious decision? Did your conscious kill you after? Were you happy? Did...
patisseriepoupon-deactivated201 asked: you're back!
Cross out the things you've done
Graduated High School. Kissed someone. Smoked a cigarette. Got so drunk you passed out. Rode every ride at an amusement park. Collected something really stupid. Gone to a rock concert. Helped someone. Gone fishing. Watched four movies in one night. Gone long periods of time with out sleep. Lied to someone. Snorted cocaine. Failed a class. Smoked weed. Dealt drugs. Been in a car accident. Been in a...
June 2010
3 posts
3 tags
This is Who I Am: Put yourself before others →
patisseriepoupon:
tryingtofindme:
patisseriepoupon:
Well, it’s been quite some time since I’ve written in here. My life is pretty busy as it is so I don’t really have time to reminisce…or whatever it is I’m doing here.
Anyway, I wanted to share this letter I wrote to my father (modified for privacy’s sake). It’s in response to his out of line…
Boy, I read all that. It reminds me A LOT of...
2 tags
This is Who I Am: Put yourself before others →
patisseriepoupon:
Well, it’s been quite some time since I’ve written in here. My life is pretty busy as it is so I don’t really have time to reminisce…or whatever it is I’m doing here.
Anyway, I wanted to share this letter I wrote to my father (modified for privacy’s sake). It’s in response to his out of line…
Boy, I read all that. It reminds me A LOT of some of the stuff with my own family....
5 tags
Put yourself before others
Well, it’s been quite some time since I’ve written in here. My life is pretty busy as it is so I don’t really have time to reminisce…or whatever it is I’m doing here.
Anyway, I wanted to share this letter I wrote to my father (modified for privacy’s sake). It’s in response to his out of line reaction a few months ago to a Facebook status that listed I was...
May 2010
1 post
5 tags
"An ocean without a Shore...": On blasphemy: →
hammerito:
Some of you are likely aware that today is Everybody Draw Muhammad Day. As many of you are also aware, I’m a humanist who believes in free speech above all else.
That said, I’m absolutely torn on this. What I want is for people to understand just how important free speech is. What I don’t want is to be lumped in with the War Hawks who just are in this game to provoke Muslims.
...
April 2010
4 posts
2 tags
Blonde Redhead - Kazuality
I was introduced to...
2 tags
listening to "Smashing Pumpkins - Muzzle" →
This song really spoke to me in high school. So deep. So deep. At least for an 18 year old.
I don’t know how I became obsessed with it, but somehow it got ingrained in me and I would listen to it on repeat on my drive home from school without fail.
7 tags
mind chaos.: @ThisisWhoIAm →
Where have you been all my life?
I can relate 100% to everything you’ve said.
I’m Pakistan/Indian Muslim, and my parents are the same way. What’s even worse are their double standards, MY BROTHER COULD DO ANYTHING AND GET AWAY WITH IT!
btw, I don’t see any flaws in Islam, only how people interpret it. My parents just happen to be very old-fashioned and conservative, more particularly, my...
Anonymous asked: What sect of Islam are you? Sunni?
March 2010
2 posts
6 tags
Just say "No."
I can’t imagine what it would have been like to be a normal American kid. I didn’t get to do sleep-overs like all the other little girls. I didn’t hang out at the mall for recreational purposes until I was say, 17, I think? Not that I wanted to do that or anything. I used to find the mall boring and a waste of time and was generally not a fan of shopping, but I would have liked the option! I had...
8 tags
Start
I don’t know where to begin. I suppose this will be more of a stream of consciousness type of thing until I get the hang of it.
I got inspired to do this after reading a ‘zine some friends of mine put together after The Taqwacores screening at Sundance this year. I wanted to contribute, even though I wasn’t there (not just for that, but for most of this whole Taqwacore hullabaloo), but didn’t...